Transform Your Pain Into Power

Transform Your Pain Into Power

By Katie Woods, Breakup and Divorce Coach

Pain and heartbreak from a breakup or divorce can be debilitating. There is a natural grieving process when a relationship ends. But if we harness the pain correctly it can make the process a little kinder and can actually be transformative for our future lives.

Feel the pain

Whilst it may seem counter intuitive to lean into the emotion that hurts us, it is the only way to get to the other side of heartbreak. Suppression of feelings and using crutches may numb the pain a little, but it will only come back to bite us again. Pain has to be processed in order to move forwards. The only way is THROUGH.

Look for the daily micro-moments of joy

I hear what you’re saying. I’m in pain...what joy! But I guarantee you that you can find these small moments if you look hard enough. A morning coffee, a walk in nature, a good deed from a stranger. They are there if we look for them and they can give us a little boost if we let them..

Flip It

Write a gratitude list. It is scientifically proven that by focusing our brain on what we are thankful for, it can help to lessen the pain. Pop down everything that you are thankful for big or small. Come back to this list whenever you are feeling low.

Move your body

Whether you are going for a leisurely stroll or taking a hardcore exercise class - there are many ways that we can get those happy endorphins flowing. Even if you don’t want to go, I guarantee you that you won’t regret it. Think about trying a new type of exercise that you’ve never tried before or joining a sports team.

Get into nature

Nature can be awe inspiring in so many ways. It can make us realise that we are just one part of something bigger and that the world keeps turning despite our pain. Look up and get inspired.

Focus your mind on what you are looking forward to

It may be a long anticipated holiday with your children, a weekend away with friends or a festival. No matter what it is, big or small, get things in the diary that you can look forward to. It really does make the world of difference.

Reframe the pain as a valuable lesson

I like to think of pain as a teacher. What is it teaching us and how can we harness it to learn valuable lessons from our past and be the best version of ourselves. Pain can be transformative, if we use it correctly.

Surround yourself with positivity

This is not the time to be around people who do not lift you up. Say no to the judgemental friends and the events that don’t make you feel good. Energy is infectious so surround yourself with positive vibes.

HAVE FUN And try new things

A sure fire way to lessen pain is to have some FUN. You may not feel like it, but I guarantee you that a good giggle with friends is one of life’s greatest healers. Also, try something new - it forms new pathways in the brain and gets us excited about life again.

Love Katie xx

If you need a helping hand with your breakup or divorce please get in touch with me.

Email: [email protected]

Or book a free 15 minute discovery call with me at the link below

https://calendly.com/katie-katiewoodsdivorcecoaching/30min