Overwhelm: How To Dial It Down

Overwhelm: How To Dial It Down

By Katie Woods, Breakup and Divorce Coach

If your relationship or marriage has recently ended and you are feeling completely overwhelmed right now, I want you to know: you are not alone.

Separation and divorce can feel like a tsunami of decisions, emotions, fear and unexpected changes—all hitting you at once. One minute you're holding it together, and the next, you're crying in the car or lying awake at 2am, wondering how you’re going to get through this. But you WILL.

You can take small steps to reduce that mental and emotional load, even if you can't control every part of the process.

Here’s how to dial down the overwhelm and start slowly reclaiming your clarity, your calm, and your confidence.

1. Back to basics, self care and more self care

When you're overwhelmed, self-care is usually the first thing to go—but it's also one of the most powerful tools for getting grounded. You're dealing with emotional overload, decision fatigue, and constant uncertainty. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you certainly can't make wise decisions when you're depleted.

Self-care doesn’t need to be luxurious. It can be as simple as drinking enough water, going for a walk, an exercise class, running a relaxing bath or saying no to something that drains you. Think of it as essential maintenance for your mind and body—especially during high-stress times. Protect your energy. When you care for yourself, you're building the emotional stamina you need to face what's next. Strip it back to basics and nourish your body and mind.

2. Set up a support network and get clarity

This is one of the hardest times of your life but too often, people try to navigate the process on their own out of fear, guilt, or pride. Reach out and set up a support network. Whether it's a breakup or divorce coach (like me), a financial advisor, legal advice or a support group. Getting the right team around you reduces overwhelm dramatically and gives you clarity. You don’t have to know everything. You just need the right guidance at the right time.

3. Narrow Your Focus

When your mind tries to solve everything at once, it goes into overdrive. The legal issues, the finances, the kids, the logistics. It's too much for one brain, especially when that brain is already under emotional strain. Choose one small thing to focus on a day. Small steps are key, as are taking things day by day and sometimes hour by hour in those early moments.

4. Take control of what you can

Overwhelm can make us feel powerless. One way to dial it down is to take back control where you can, no matter how small the area. Try setting up a simple routine. Make your morning coffee. Go for a daily walk. Tidy one small space in your home. These acts of order tell your nervous system: You are safe. You have some control here.

5. Filter the noise

Everyone has opinions: your friends, family, colleagues or even strangers. While most mean well, their stories and advice can sometimes add to the chaos in your head.

Be selective about what and who you listen to. No one person's circumstances are the same. Think about seeking help from a breakup and divorce coach and don't be afraid to say "Thank you for caring. I'm getting support in the way that works best for me right now."

6. Honour your emotions but don't let them run the show

Overwhelm often comes when you try to suppress big emotions. Grief, anger, confusion, sadness: they're all valid and a normal and natural part of the grief cycle. Instead of pushing feelings away, give them space, but set limits. You might journal for 10 minutes, talk to a coach or therapist or have a good cry then shift your focus to something grounding or comforting.

REMEMBER: OVERWHELM IS A SIGNAL, NOT A FAILURE

Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re facing something huge and human. The goal isn’t to eliminate it, it's to build tools and support systems so that you’re not carrying it all alone.

If you're in this storm right now, please hear this: It won't always feel this heavy. There is a path through. And you are stronger than you think.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, I can help you to find a way through.

Book a free call with me at the link below or email me at [email protected]