Comfort Zones: Why staying safe might be holding you back
Comfort Zones: Why staying safe might be holding you back
By Katie Woods, Breakup and Divorce Coach
We’ve all heard the phrase “get out of your comfort zone.” It gets tossed around so often, it’s easy to tune it out. But have you ever really stopped to think about what a comfort zone actually is and how it might be quietly shaping your life?
A breakup or divorce naturally catapults us out of our comfort zones at 100 mph so is it worth just embracing?
What Is a Comfort Zone?
A comfort zone isn’t just a metaphor. It’s a psychological space where things feel familiar, easy, and safe. Inside it, there’s little risk, low anxiety, and minimal growth. It’s your daily routine, your go-to coffee shop, your job that’s “fine but not exciting,” and the habits that don’t challenge you—but also don’t push you forward.
It’s not a bad place. In fact, comfort zones are necessary. They help us feel grounded, reduce stress, and build confidence. But they can also become a trap, especially when comfort turns into complacency.
The Science of Growth
When you step outside your comfort zone, something interesting happens. Psychologists call it the “Optimal Anxiety” zone. It’s the sweet spot where you're slightly uncomfortable but not overwhelmed. That’s where real growth occurs. You take risks, learn new skills, adapt to change, and gain resilience.
Think of it like exercise: staying on the sofa feels good in the moment, but you only get stronger when you push yourself. The same principle applies to your mindset, career, relationships, and personal goals.
Signs You Might Be Stuck
Sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve settled in too deeply. Here are a few red flags:
You feel bored, but resist change.
You say “no” to new opportunities by default.
Fear of failure or judgment keeps you from trying.
You’re not learning or growing as much as you used to.
If any of these resonate with you, it might be time to stretch your boundaries.
How to Gently Push the Edges
Leaving your comfort zone doesn’t mean making huge, terrifying leaps. In fact, it’s better to take small, intentional steps:
Start saying yes to things that scare you a little—but excite you a lot.
Set tiny challenges like speaking up in meetings, trying a new hobby, or reaching out to someone new.
Reflect on progress, not perfection. Growth isn’t always linear, but every step counts.
Build a support system of people who encourage you to stretch.
The Reward?
On the other side of discomfort is confidence. It’s achievement. It’s new experiences and expanded perspectives. And sometimes, it’s discovering a version of yourself you didn’t even know existed.
Final Thought
Your comfort zone will always be there, think of it like home base. But don’t let it be your whole world. Life begins at the edge of it. So take a breath, lean into the discomfort, and trust that you’re capable of more than you think.
